Against my better judgment, I opened the door and let him in. "Hey," he said as he stepped into my apartment. Looking around, he noticed the movie running on the TV. "Ah, I was wondering if you'd rent that, after Heather mentioned it."
"Yeah, call it research," I muttered, feeling uncomfortable. I knew he must have heard my talk with Beth earlier. Was that why he was here?
"I'm surprised you'd never seen it before," Mark said, obviously avoiding why he was really here. "It was one of the better movies that year."
"I don't get out a lot," I reminded him.
"Yeah, I guess not," he replied.
The silence that descended was awkward. I had already decided what I was going to do about Beth's suggestion, which was nothing, and I think Mark was here expecting me to bring the subject up. After about fifteen seconds, I shrugged and went back to my chair. "You can stay and watch if you want," I told him in a bored-sounding voice. "Unless you want to get around to saying what you came here for."
He laughed weakly. "That's what I like about you, Kate, you always get right to the point."
"That's right, I do, don't I?" I said impatiently. "So are you going to get on with it or not?"
"All right, if you insist," he replied, sitting down on the couch across from me. "Of course, you know I heard what Beth suggested, and I've been thinking about it."
"Yeah?" I asked, wondering what he was going to say. He was turning a little bit red already, and inwardly, I was actually getting kind of amused by this. It was nice not having to be the embarrassed one for a change.
"Well," he went on with some difficulty, "I just wanted you to know, if you wanted me to, well, I, um, volunteer."
Now, if he had done this with a smile on his face, or been overeager, I would have been insulted and annoyed. The fact that he looked so uncomfortable volunteering meant he was serious about it. He really seemed to want to help me, but then, I remembered how he'd laughed at me that first day. I decided to find out just how serious he was.
"Oh, I'm sure you do," I said, with mock annoyance. "You just want another chance to see me like that, all shrunk down and wearing that sexy uniform."
He sighed, and actually wrung his hands together. Either he was acting really well, or he really was nervous about this. "No, it's not that," he told me. "I've seen--well, heard, I mean--how scared this makes you. From what you've been saying, I mean. I want to help you get more used to this. For the sake of the assignment, of course."
Wow, he really was nervous! I'd never heard Mark quite so tongue-tied. "Really?" I asked doubtfully. "For the sake of the assignment, you say? Suuuure."
He started getting frustrated. "Really, Kate! I mean it. I don't care about seeing you in that stupid costume. Put on street clothes or something beforehand if you want. I just--well, I know what you must have been going through today, when that man picked you up. I heard you gasp and the way you were breathing afterwards. It really scared you, didn't it?"
Sighing, I nodded. "If you must know, yes, it scared the hell out of me."
"Look," he went on, "you have to come to grips with this somehow, and Beth was right. I'm the only one you can really trust to do it."
"You want me to trust you?" I asked scornfully. "This from the man who laughed at me after my first day, and then made fun of me on the job?"
"I'm sorry about that," he said honestly. "Really, I am. I didn't know this was so hard for you. I didn't start thinking about it until later. I was a real jerk, and I apologize."
"Apology accepted," I said after a moment's pause, "but I have to tell you, there's not much chance I'm going to let you pick me up and hold me like some kind of big stuffed toy."
"It won't be like that, I promise," he insisted. "I won't do anything you don't tell me is okay beforehand. If you just want me to sit and watch you, that's fine. If you want me to pick you up or put my hands around you, I'll do that too, but only if you say it's all right."
I frowned. "You just aren't getting this, are you?" I said firmly. "Look, Mark, you and I are partners. Above all, when we're working together, we need to respect each other. It's already bad enough that I have to cavort around in a skimpy costume, and that you've seen me in it. How would you like it if you had to work undercover as a male stripper?"
"Point well taken," he said with a laugh. "I wouldn't like it at all."
"Now let's say not only were you forced to wear a thong, but you had to be shrunk down to a third your height. How would you feel about that?"
"Not very good, I suppose," he replied, and I could tell he really meant it.
I pressed home my point. "Good, now you know how I feel. Every time I have to go in there and be shrunk, I lose a little bit more of my self-esteem."
"I know you do," Mark said, "and I know I'd hate the idea as much as you do, if I were in your place, but Beth's right. You have got to get used to it somehow."
At that, I sighed heavily. "I know, I know," I told him. "I'll get a handle on it some other way, though."
"Better do it quick," Mark said. "Right now you're still doing easy stuff. Friday night, it's going to get much worse."
"Yeah, I know that too," I agreed. "I just can't figure out a way for you to help me without losing all respect for me as an agent. You'll always think back about how you held me in your hands when I was two feet tall."
"Listen," he said, looking directly into my eyes and growing intensely serious all of a sudden. "After two years as your partner, I think I know you pretty well. You think I haven't noticed how much you hate authority? How you always have to be in charge when we're on a case?"
"So I'm a control freak," I snapped. "Deal with it."
"This job is exactly the opposite of that," he went on as though I hadn't spoken. "You have to make yourself vulnerable, which I know you hate. So, if you were actually able to ask me for help, to willingly put yourself literally in my hands, I'd have more respect for you as an agent than I already do."
I didn't have any reply to that. I think I just stared at him, my brain completely numb. That was either the most amazingly honest and forthright thing I'd ever heard him say, or else he was totally desperate to get me in his hands, and was willing to tell me anything to get me there.
Either way, I was totally dumbfounded.
"Well," he said as he stood up, "I'll let you chew on that for a while, and leave you to your movie. Give me a call tomorrow." And with that, he turned and made a hasty exit, as if embarrassed by what he'd said.
He hadn't changed my mind yet, but already, I could tell I was weakening.