My hair was completely trashed, so I took another shower and got cleaned up from my nap on the couch. At first I wasn't going to bother getting all fancy, but for some reason I decided to make myself look nice for a change.
Normally I won't wear makeup, but I do keep some around for special occasions, so I pulled it out and put some on my face. It felt weird putting on lipstick and mascara, and I felt like I was a little girl playing with my mother's cosmetics. I even dug up some perfume from the back of my cabinet, justifying it by figuring it might be good for a couple of laughs.
I almost never wear dresses, either, but tonight I went way back into the back of my closet and found a black sleeveless thing I hadn't looked at in ages. I seemed to recall buying it for a case we were working on, because there was a chance I might have to go to a semi-formal dinner party. That part of the operation never happened, so I'd never actually worn the dress before, and had brought it along to this job only in case something similar came up.
Fortunately, the dress fit fine. Maybe even too well, as it dipped down a bit lower in front than I would've liked, and was slit up the side quite a ways. Still, Mark had seen me in a lot less than this. Besides, since he'd taken the trouble to dress up, I figured I might as well do the same.
Of course, having not really expected to wear something like this, I didn't have the proper accessories. The only high-heeled shoes I had didn't really look right with it, and I had nothing at all resembling a nice-looking jacket, so if it was a cool night I was going to be chilly. Plus, my only purse was brown, so I had to use that even though it didn't match the black outfit. Oh well, I doubted Mark would notice.
Unfortunately, I took almost an hour getting ready, so when I finally came out, I was sure Mark would be annoyed at the wait. "Sorry that took so long," I apologized as I entered the room. "You caught me by surprise, you know."
"Holy shit!" I heard him mutter under his breath. His mouth actually dangled open as he looked me up and down. "Kate, you--you look fantastic!" he stammered.
I think I actually blushed a little at the complement. "Thanks," I said, smiling. In fact, I couldn't resist doing a quick pirouette so he could see the whole ensemble. "This is the dress I bought for the First National case."
"Really?" he replied, still looking a little awestruck. "Well, it looks great! You should wear it more often."
"Oh, please," I replied. "You know how much I hate getting dressed up. Come on, stop staring and let's go."
He laughed and we headed out. We didn't travel very far, however. Instead of going to some unknown location, he simply drove me over to the Coruscant and walked me to the Jedi Palace, the casino's main restaurant.
This wasn't one of those cheap buffet places, either. This was about the nicest theme restaurant I'd ever seen. It was set up to look exactly like the Jedi headquarters you've seen in the movies. The servers were dressed like characters from Star Wars, and at certain times during the evening they even put on lightsaber shows and similar events. The menus even followed the same pattern, offering "Bantha steaks" and the like.
Still, while it was nice and all, I wasn't really all that concerned about the atmosphere. I was more worried about what was going on with Mark.
He didn't talk about it during dinner, though. Mostly we just exchanged small talk for a bit. You know, stuff like how glad I was to be eating real food again instead of giant cookies from a snack pack. Each time I tried to steer the conversation towards what I really wanted to talk about, though, he changed the subject.
Finally, he made me tell the entire story of my abduction. I'd already told it once today, but when I gave it to my boss, I'd been careful about what I said because Nadine was there. This time, I didn't hold back, giving out every little detail I could remember. It felt good to talk about it, really. You already know the story, so I won't repeat it again here.
Mark was most amused when I told him about the spanking part, but that was all right, because I was laughing about it too. Back when it happened, it hadn't been quite so funny, but now, it was hilarious. A real "someday we'll look back on this and laugh" moment, know what I mean?
By the time I finished my narration, dinner was long over, so we departed, with Mark paying the bill. I thought he'd put it on his room tab, which of course would be picked up by the Bureau, but to my surprise, he used a credit card. He actually bought me dinner!
The whole way back to my apartment, I thought about just asking Mark flat out about what Heather had written in the diary, but now, it seemed like I didn't want to know. To my surprise, I found I'd actually enjoyed the evening a lot, and Mark had been a complete gentleman the entire time. In fact, I realized as I got home, this had been exactly like a real date. I hadn't allowed myself to think of it as one, but that's what it had been, hadn't it?
Mark walked me back up to my room, and I invited him in for a beer, so he followed me inside. "I had a nice time tonight," I admitted. "Thanks for dinner, Mark."
"No problem," he answered nervously. "I had a great time, too."
"I don't think we ever got around to talking about what we really needed to discuss, did we, though?" I pointed out.
He sighed. "No, and we need to," he admitted, and took a deep breath as if preparing himself for an ordeal to come. "All right, I'll get on with it," he went on. "This is going to be--well, it'll be difficult, so bear with me."
"Okay," I replied, sitting down on my couch and motioning for him to take a seat in a nearby chair. He did, sipping his beer tentatively. "There are some things I don't understand," I said. "What Heather wrote about, and why you were in the SW Clubhouse, for example."
"You deserve to know," he told me. "So I'll tell you. It might take me a while, though, okay? We'll start with a simple question. Do you remember when we first met?"
"I guess so," I replied, thinking about it. It had been a couple of years ago, back when I'd only been at the FBI for a short time. "Yeah, I remember. You made some kind of wiseass comment behind my back, and thought I didn't hear. I thought you were a jerk."
"I knew it!" he exclaimed. "I knew you heard me! I wanted to smack myself then, but I thought it wouldn't matter since we probably wouldn't be working too closely together. Then, next thing I know, I'm your partner! It's like they did it on purpose."
I chuckled. "I wouldn't put it past Eric, you know."
"Me either," he agreed. "Well, I really wanted to apologize," he went on, "but I wasn't sure if you'd heard the comment, so I didn't say anything. The truth is, I was really intimidated by you. You were so beautiful, and so perfectly composed all the time, so I covered up my real feelings by joking around and trying to act like a big shot."
I almost made a snappy remark in response, but stopped myself. It didn't seem like the right moment for something like that. Besides, he'd just called me beautiful, which had caught me somewhat off guard.
"I've always liked you, Kate," he went on, not quite looking directly at me as he spoke. "But you made it clear you were unapproachable. I managed to put my feelings for you aside and work with you as a partner. After a while I convinced myself that's all you were, but it was a lie. Then came this assignment. When I saw you shrunk for the first time, so obviously upset about being so small, something inside me snapped."
"You mean to tell me it wasn't until I was small that--" I began.
"Please don't interrupt," he said quickly. "Please. I want to get this all out." He hesitated as though gathering his thoughts, then went on, still staring at a point on the floor near my feet. "At first I thought it was the size changing thing. I'd never seen a tiny person before, even though I knew shrinking was possible, of course. So I thought maybe it was something to do with myself. That's why I went to the SW Clubhouse. It was that same night, in fact. I went out on the Internet trying to find an explanation for my feelings, and wound up there, discovering what it was like to shrink and be shrunk."
Well, I thought, at least that explained why Mark had treated me so differently after my second day on the job.
"I wanted to tell you about the place, but I wasn't sure how you'd react to it," he continued. "After all, it was all about sex, so I thought you might not be interested. Plus, I didn't want you thinking the wrong things about me. Of course, later on, when Heather showed up, I suspected you were the other one, that Casino Girl character that had come along. Some of the things you said made me sure it was you, and then she called you Ashley, which cinched it. I went along with Heather, mostly because she was so damn enthusiastic about it, but we didn't go any further than some clean adventurous stuff. Besides which, the whole time all I could think about was you."
He paused for a moment, taking a couple more drinks of his beer, then went on. "I wanted it to be you, Kate. I wanted you to be the one in my hand that night, not Heather. When you let me pick you up the week before, it only made me remember how much I cared about you, feelings I'd managed to shove aside until then. You see, in forcing myself to treat you professionally, like a partner, I'd almost forgotten you're a woman. But when you were so small, standing there on my lap, scared to death and so totally vulnerable, my shields all came crashing down. That's what I wanted to tell you that day, but couldn't."
"Mark, I--" I started to say.
He went on like I hadn't spoken. "After that you were all I could think of, and then when I saw you online, it really threw me for a loop. I kept trying to figure out what to say to you the next day. I'd pretty much decided to throw all caution to the wind and admit I was Tallguy, even though I suspected you'd be upset. But I never got the chance, because you were taken that afternoon. Then I spent several days worried sick about you. I was a wreck, Kate. You didn't see me during those days, but I was useless. I'm sure they could tell at HQ. Even if they hadn't seen that paragraph in Heather's diary, they would've sent a psychologist for me anyway, sooner or later."
Before I could ask the obvious question, he answered it for me. "Yes, that's right, Nadine already interviewed me," he said. "She was here before they came to your place today. I already admitted all of this to them. That's why I'm telling you now."
At this point, he stood up, drank down the rest of the beer, and set the can on the table nearby. I wanted to say something, but couldn't. My mind was in a whirl. Mark had done nothing less than bare his soul to me. What could I possibly say to that?
"Anyway, I'm going to leave now," he went on. "I'm sorry I had to lay this all on you like this, but it wasn't fair if they knew and you didn't. Besides, you must have suspected something like this was going on all along. I couldn't have been very good at hiding it."
I stood up and followed him to the door. "Actually, I didn't," I replied truthfully. "I mean, I thought you were acting strange, but I didn't realize how far it went until yesterday."
"Well," he went on, opening the door to leave, "I'm not sure what's going to happen now. They might take me off the case, or I might resign from it. It's not fair to make you work with me under these circumstances, after all."
I may not have been sure what else to say, but one thing I did know for certain was that I didn't want anyone else working this case with me. "Please don't do that," I said quickly. "Don't resign, Mark. I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone else here!"
"Are you sure?" he asked. "Even after everything I've told you, how much I care about you? Even though I think I might--"
He hesitated. "Might what?" I prompted, almost afraid of how he might finish that thought, but desperate to hear it anyway.
After a brief struggle, he completed the question. "Even though I m-might be in love with you?"
I gazed into his eyes, and he almost looked away, but didn't. "Yes," I said directly. "Even so."
I suppose I should have expected his next move, but nonetheless, it took me by surprise. Abruptly, almost clumsily, he reached out, took me in his arms, and kissed me.
I should've resisted. I should've pushed him away and retreated into my apartment, where it was safe. I really should have.
But I didn't.